residential terrazzo flooring installation
3 years ago
Dec 29, 2010
Buried alive,
Under the embodiments of my life
Scattered onto haphazard paper
A sheet cuts into me, as sharp as a knife;
Stemming the flow of ruby-red blood
With a cruel glance at the thin gash
Profanities arrange themselves on my lips
As I search for the sheet, amongst the stack.
Buried alive,
With edges that glint with sadistic happiness
Is the artwork of a past much forgotten,
A photograph, the reason for my curt snappiness;
But pain momentarily forgotten,
Running time-beaten fingers over the colours
That paint the youth of a pleasurable past,
A past full of summers, perusing bestsellers.
Buried alive,
Is irony. For under the plethora of age,
Is a time machine imprinted on paper
A photograph, a Past that paper does en-cage.
And as a flood of memories take me back
To when our minds were innocent, when love was pure,
The blood oozes vehemently from the papercut
Oh and I felt something peculiar, of that I'm sure.
For a moment, it's as if the cut is punishment
A punishment well deserved,
A mockery of the strange, shapeless mass life becomes
As age and life fuse to appear absurd.
If the surface of the photograph were magical,
What wouldn't I give to dive into it,
And appear, suddenly, in the world it depicts
And escape this existence that degrades bit by bit.
Buried alive are the memories
We wish we could personify.
Buried alive is a life
Full of mistakes we wish to rectify.
Dec 28, 2010
Stop, Pause, Rewind, Press Play.
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 6:01 AM
If with every sigh of faith, I could freeze
The world, this time, these words, the breeze,
If we could put on repeat this moment forever
And revisit these emotions wherever, whenever,
What we wouldn't give,
To stay as we are and live
A life centered around our Now
If only we knew how...
At the sharp rising of the sun,
Or at the blanket of night, at one,
When my mind lies alert and thoughtless
I think of our story; I'm an empty mess unless
I think of our first hug,
Our first banter,
Our first song,
Our first field trip,
Our first moment of truth
Our first admission,
Our first awkward moment;
And the first time I first looked into your eyes
And saw in the depths something beyond comprehension.
And in that moment, I knew, I realized
That life isn't all that bad, it's not a ticket of detention.
Because though many a times, we lose those we love,
Even though our hearts are laid on a poker table to be played,
For every One that is lost, One is gained
Someone special approaches to mend your heart so frayed-
And in that one moment,
With that look in the eyes,
With the tactile sense of deep connection,
That moment naked of all sorts of lies,
Your heart yearns to say "I love you"
And the best part is that you mean it too
Because in a few years,
We'll be but faded memories,
Devoid of somebody to call,
Someone's name to carve on trees,
A firm hand to break your fall,
It's justified to wish that you could freeze
The best time of your life,
The Firsts; if we could relive them, oh on bended knees,
I'd propose for those moments back.
As these moments slip away with time,
You wish you could pause this process of growing up.
Stay forever in a world of honest friendship, honest naivete,
And an innocent heart, believing love to be as sweet as syrup.
Dedicated to a Special Unnamed Friend for being a great influence in my life so far ♥
Dec 27, 2010
You can smell it
Almost taste it,
The acrid scent of a new beginning.
Wisps of it draw closer and they're
Intertwining with locks of flyaway hair
And tainted memories are thinning.
You can hear it, that sound
Of destiny turning around,
You can feel the anticipation of nature;
The winds whisper courageously
Of a new direction solidifying solely
Neither a mockery nor a cruel caricature.
You can feel the forgiveness
That rushes to your likeness,
You feel in you the power to forget the past;
It's as if the sea is at your command,
The waves navigate the ship at your demand,
And you guide it from atop a godly mast.
The blood that rushes through your veins
Picks up speed as the wind whips your hair
And stings your eyes, encourages you to forget,
And reminds you that in love, everything is fair.
Dec 25, 2010
Empty Promises
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 4:42 AM
Those words try to escape from my lips,
Willpower stops them, oh the damage they'd cause
Oh the hearts they would break, the tears they would induce,
An extended, unfortunate, awkward pause.
But my heart, as it bursts at the seams,
Continues to break into pieces before our eyes
If I could let these words escape, let them run free,
Maybe I could shield us from untold lies:
There are children in Africa in need of food,
Not a scarce commodity, opposite to what is presumed;
Others are busy in their hasty consumption of it,
And in the end, deficiency lets these Africans' souls be pruned.
Our situation is not the same,
But the essence is same in name.
It is you I need, you I depend on,
But you are a scarce commodity, hardly there for me;
Being doled out to the rest of the world,
Empty promises; for my desperation you might not see.
If there were more of you, this world would be utopia,
For you don't rest until everyone is smiling,
But I'd rather you cease promising me eternal aquaintance,
If you cannot give it, if your obligations are piling.
Of strong moral character; oh how could anyone dislike you?
A boon to society, a love never to be lost,
A true friend, a secret love, a guardian angel,
A friend of comfort, the soulmate of riposte...
Promises. "I'm there should you ever need me,
I will never leave, you can count on me, I look thee in the eye."
My heart full of warmth, my eyes shining in admiration,
Little did I know it was all a lie.
Maybe one day,
Our fortunes will take a much-needed turn,
In the meanwhile, patience is a virtue,
To let my heart burn.
It will be amusing to see
When you smell the smoke
And realize the fire is exuding
From that very fragile organ heart you broke.
Dec 10, 2010
He's delusional to think
That my heart doesn't flutter in glee
When he holds me close.
There's so much I could say
Every single day, in his ear,
But I don't, for words are precious.
It seems like people only love
The ones who show them that they need them.
But what about the ones
Who silently fall in love, a tug of the hem?
So let's just embrace the status quo,
And hide our love for the ones we adore,
Because when the time comes
They will realize that we share even more
Than a simple hug, a simple look, a simple laugh,
And that our connection is not simply a chore.
So let's just watch from afar
As the relationships we've worked so hard to build
Fall apart right in front of our eyes
Because someone else seems to be in need of a guild
Made of people who have one track minds.
For once the waters of the chalices are spilled,
There is no use crying over what is gone.
So let us love in silence until the message has been drilled,
Into our minds, like a permanent fixture.
Let us watch the falling apart of relationships
That we've worked so hard to build.
Dec 7, 2010
When Those We Love Walk Away
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 7:39 AM
Quite amusing how the heart changes
To encompass your change in mood
Because for a moment, I felt lost and all alone,
And then you were there with your jokes, so lewd;
I've realized lately
That's what you had is not always what you've got.
I remember there used to be a time
Where I used to leave my dark feeling rot;
But now it's back, that sense of loneliness,
Like I don't belong here anymore
If I could turn back the clock to my welcome past
It would heal this burning, cold sore.
Though you are the only one who can put a smile to my face,
You seem to have wandered away from me,
I gave you the code to my heart to put me at ease
You've just walked away, without the key.
When I'm with you, the world wants me
And when I'm away, or you don't care, I'm all alone
Something in me has changed for the worse
It's been a while since I've been glad to go back home.
Why do saviours never realize their worth?
Why does their lack rob from you your gleeful mirth?
Why are they so loudly blind?
And why do they toy with your love,
Your heart that they slowly unwind?
Dec 6, 2010
For I feel hollow in my mind and my heart,
You know, when you give someone your trust,
And you believe that, though it's not very smart,
It's a friendship devoid of any intentions or lust-
And then he wanders away,
(Away from the land you call your home)
Through the forest that leads to another land as gay,
And oh, you've been left all alone.
It's because you lost somebody
You thought made you feel complete,
The worst is yourself knowing
That the process of it was so discrete,
And you are alone with a mind and heart so empty,
And you are plagued by a vacuous space, wider than any sea,
I fill it with my imagination,
But it only hurts me inside,
I imagine life without you,
In who do I confide?
I imagine with my rampant thoughts
A world that would bring me tears,
Would steal my heart and break it thrice over,
Confirmation of my worst fears.
Who do I trust when I am down?
Who do I hug when I do frown?
Who do I look upon to love me,
Love me unconditionally?
Nov 28, 2010
With the viscous pulls on my wings,
Stay rooted firmly, on the ground,
Shaking uncontrollably,
The rebellious streak lying unfound;
Though you know you cannot deny me
The fortunes I deserve,
I remain bound by your lack of diplomacy,
Lost in a reserve.
You ask of me to fly with my wings tied,
Ask of me to smile in venomous bile,
Having robbed me of the need
To want to live in happiness indeed!
The things you do to me
Blind me to the point I cannot see,
You demand of me so much more
When you've taken away my tools and left my heart sore.
And now I long,
With every beat of a song,
To be free
Of your tyranny,
And every sucking pull
Chafes my face like wool
So much so that tears burn
My sore face as my stomach might churn-
For the day when I can fly
With my wings untied
And smile with all my heart
Sans the feeling that part of me just died.
Nov 27, 2010
She was alone, cold to the bone,
Empty and pretending to be busy
To avoid pity from the girls of the city
Who saw her tucked in the corner
Because she felt empty, almost hollow,
With a strange kind of sorrow
And though she tried to rationalize
Her actions, explanations felt like lies.
So he went to her, with his unawares,
And he lit up her night,
He offered her his jacket
Because she was shivering in fright
Of who she was changing into,
Of who she was turning into.
And with his soothing conversation
With his warmth by her side,
They talked through the play and the fireworks,
And he her troubles set aside.
It proved to her that sometimes
All you need is sympathy,
Or just a change of subject to distract
You from the pain of empathy.
Nov 22, 2010
To Be a Girl of 16
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 5:10 AM
The only thing that makes me sleep at night,
Is knowing that I will see you tomorrow;
Your presence is a drug to my soul,
Without it, I melt into sorrow...
And my heart leaps at the sight of your face
I don't know if anyone's ever told you
But you're beautiful;
And a smile plants itself on my lips
When we're together,
For it feels wonderful!
I question whether this is what love feels like
But I'm scared to find out the answer;
If we were paired for a Masquerade, in masks,
I'd fear the lilt in my gait should you be my dancer;
They glorify love-
And they say it rarely happens,
And they say that when you find love in another,
Approach it while it beckons;
But I could never love you openly,
For I'd leave our foundation in ruins
I'd be sacrificing us the way we are now,
I'd be a lone mouse and you the bruins;
And thus I, just a child in my heart,
Must carry on in silence,
I must supress the joy
That pools out of me with violence-
For I lose myself in your laugh,
And I drown in our contact,
I'm a prey to your charm,
And this infatuation is intact,
And so I love you from afar,
From distance, from near,
You're always in my heart,
If I should let anything slip, oh, I fear.
I love you in silence, the contents of my safe
To which the combination I don't know to date.
;;
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