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3 years ago
Mar 12, 2012
Incandescent Dichotomy
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 5:45 PM
This one's a little long. We were on our way back from camps and at the train station, I looked up to the sky to the sight shown below. For a strange moment, it triggered a lot of suppressed emotions that I've explored in this poem.
A radiating lamp in the night sky,
It watched over us like a mother
And year after year, we've watched
The dark of the night it tried to smother.
I saw the moon as an open book,
Blackened with dust and age,
Pages yellowed by the tinge of memories
Of billions of people filled with rage.
It watched the wars, the world's plight,
And comforted dying soldiers at night;
It watched the theories of science evolve
As the face of our planet continued to revolve.
There was a time when it saw
The face of Cleopatra smiling at its white body,
A time when it scanned the face of the dying children
In the Holocaust, shielded from everybody;
An era when it saw Cro-Magnon man
Transform to homo sapiens with time,
Those millennia when the dinosaurs died
It saw their plight with amusement sublime.
A silent spectator, a selfish celestial entity,
It stood silent as the world changed for the worse
It watched us rob Mother Nature of her wealth
None of which can we ever reimburse.
It's hands are spattered with the screams of the dead,
The triumphant roars of the winners
And the indifferent sighs of the crowd
Most composed of ardent sinners.
Historians with humped backs and grey hair
Devote lifetimes to analysis of text,
But if only they looked at the moon
They would see the history of our people there.
Murderers, thieves, dictators beware--
The moon's eyes have watched you all along.
And though, like a God, it might simply sit back and stare
It saw you as you subjected your society to wrong.
But beggars, well-wishers, do-gooders in all right
The moon watched you suffer and cry
But to save you from your undeserving plight
It did not even try.
------
It was 4 o'clock in the evening and the sky was red
The sun a jewel hanging low in the expanse of colour overhead
But when I looked back, a dense, dark blanket muffled all colour
The night sky stank of the evil and the dead.
Clouds flew with the wind and white bathed the sky,
The light of the moon brought comfort to human life
And for an instant when I watched it intently
I could see the history of man - the triumphs and the strife.
An open book, an incandescent dichotomy,
Once a child's object of fascination
I saw you as a treasured permanence of my life
But now you seem so dark, evoking an eerie sensation.
Watch me as I make my history,
And my progress as you marked our pathbreakers'.
Laugh at my degeneration,
And ignore my desperation.
Feb 6, 2012
Oh, Look. Utopia.
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 4:17 PM
The visions I see, the visions I feel,
Why must they be tinged with fantasy,
And leave me reckless?
They leave me helpless,
A newborn calf standing on her toothpick legs.
Why must I have to taste the flavourless dregs?
Those daydreams take away from me
All semblance of reality
I wake up to a utopia so doctored.
Though behind my eyes, I see a perfect world
In reality, it's laced with famine and disease,
More holes than Swiss cheese.
But in the mountains where the buttery sunlight reigns,
In the sorrowful heart which happiness feigns,
Amidst a field of tulips,
Red, yellow and blue;
In the holy water that runs through rivers deep,
In the fertile soil within which the aromatic rain seeps,
In the eyes of a winner,
Eyes hazel and true...
I pleasure in such a fantasy;
But when faced with such happiness in reality,
Enriched with the belief
I have found utopia.
Under our feet.
Dec 6, 2011
These eyes are seeing white.
Where once a smile would evoke
The visions of red colours, dancing brilliantly,
They now appear flat. Dull.
Dead.
The world that was once artistically painted
With an impressionist’s scattering of
Cerulean blues and blinding, buttery yellows
and grassy greens and vivid, rose-like pinks
their edges blurred and merging, a beautiful sight---
Everything is now grey.
As if I am colour blind.
This beating entity inside my chest
Feels detached and pointless---
Just a composition of cells and vessels
A rhythmic reminder.
Someone must have sneaked to my bed at night
Artfully slit my chest open,
Delicately extracted this heart
And boiled it in scalding water.
Nerves no more tingling with sensation,
Skin no more sensing the feathery touch of friendship,
Eyes no more seeing the colours of life.
I feel sterile,
So clean. An enchantment on my own.
Everything is numb, it’s morphine, it’s white---
There are only greys. There is no emotion.
A zombie walks through these shadowed streets at night,
Wearing my clothes,
My hair upon its head,
My voice (lifeless) emanating from its larynx,
My shoes on its feet,
My possessions in its cupboard.
Such pristine serenity
In a whirlpool of numb nothingness;
I am just a body;
A withered corpse sucked dry of blood,
An earthen pot smashed on the floor,
A soulless creature,
A sponge squeezed dry of water,
A lifeless, limp flag of independence.
Life is where love is, where freedom is,
Where trust is.
Where home is.
But I have no home.
May 26, 2011
I found it, what they've been searching for,
The proof of the Big Bang,
In my hands lies this discovery
And I can't wait to throw it away.
What happened?
Why couldn't I just stay in one place?
Appreciating that the world stays the same;
But of course it doesn't.
It was just our family, it was my world
And then we played some Wife Swap
It became a permanent fixation,
And the world grew as my eyes opened.
The child that was once me
Saw the gruesome face of life
And the universe expanded
With the smear of red on a bread knife
Aeroplane over the deep blue sea
It brought upon a paradigm shift
No it wasnt just us here in Milwaukee
For I learnt about The Rest Of The World.
Growing, fighting, loving
And the planets start to lean away
When once we were talking
Now we're strangers, day by day
Oh then that feeling, like loving,
With you standing so close to me
I could whisper in silence
You would hear it, as if I were screaming
With the stretch of my fingers
I can brush through your hair
But we're standing on two planets
And they're both moving away
Watching as the distance elongates,
As the asteroid belts come in place
As we reach two suns at the Universe's polar ends
It's true, the Universe expands every day.
Now you see,
The scientific proof laid out in front of you
What was once a theory
I've shown you that it is true.
The Big Bang is real, I see it everyday
We move so far away;
And I hope they're right about that Big Crunch
Because I hope to hold you again.
Oct 2, 2010
Snowflakes glitter under velocity of night,
None the same as any other,
Decorating the palm of a little child,
And the ruffled hat of her mother.
Fascination douses her eyes,
The child examines the intricate, hexagonal, perky one-
And in the strange velocity of night
That very snowflake managed to find her.
On the drive home, her hand was cupped
Around that little fleck of snow,
And at home, she made it a bed in the freezer,
It's identity she seemed to know.
She sees only corpses and snowflakes
On the train, on her way to work,
And one day, she finds you-
Intricate and hexagonal with a perk.
The geography of your face fascinates her
And the complexity of your molecular structure,
Her cupped hands await,
As does a place in her heart of a strong tincture-
And she has found you-
Her little snowflake of childhood,
The destined reappearance you guaranteed-
Her unique snowflake of manhood.
There will be no one like you,
Her eyes confirm;
She will treasure you to her last breath;
And maybe, she is to you a snowflake too,
That you will savour,
Until your very moment of death.
Jun 3, 2010
12) Happy Birthday Dad
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 7:49 PM
There was never a moment you let go of my finger,
Never a time when you let my childish troubles linger,
It feels so right to be here
It feels so right to be here
In the safe haven you’ve created.
With every step taken, more insatiate,
I’ve become unwilling to wait,
But it feels so right to be here
Without the comfort of a hunger sated.
Would I imagine a form adorning me
With all the colours in the spectrum of sunlight
A figure, a guardian angel, a confessor
The saviour would be you, in the night.
There aren’t ‘thanks’ enough and ‘sorry’s plenty
Neither are there sufficient hugs or returns of favour
To gift you all the love in the world
For being who you are, as you are, by our side.
May 31, 2010
10) Misunderstood
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 11:37 PM
Is rain really rain
If not the personification of pain?
Is the breeze truly breeze,
If not the happiest sneeze?
Is a heart a heart
If it's song is no such art?
Is a soul just a soul
If it has never ever been whole?
In the ways of the world
That you never cared to learn,
To rebuke me
You must know who I am.
Under the leaves of the trees
That you fail to see twice,
To make me,
You must know who I am.
Words, falling, meaninglessly from your mouth
Not as soft as whispers, but louder than a shout,
Endlessly tumbling into a void I don't reach
You forget all the lesson I fight to preach.
Your curses are a veil that hide my tears
Your speculation of my future is patched by so many fears-
If you learn to leave the past and
Walk the golden paths of the present,
Maybe you'll learn who I am.
Maybe you can talk to me for once,
Knowing who I am.
And maybe I can forgive you for your mistakes
But if only you'd understand.
May 30, 2010
I hear yells in the distance
Past these closed doors
Ringing in the house, the screaming
Reverberating off the floors,
There's no where to hide from it
Will I be able to run for it
When the time comes
Am I strong enough to let them go?
Don't cry my darling,
Everything will be alright-
This is just a seasonal brawl
I'll ask them to cease this fight.
They took the vows
And it's too late to look back,
But she doesn't understand
And he doesn't understand.
Just the two of us
My little milk-and-honey darling,
What will we be without a mother?
Or without a father calling?
The yells in this house are a routine,
The fights behind these walls are too tangible to be seen
Each day afresh, a battle we're caught between
Singes to black the grass we worked far too hard to keep green.
If this time it's too late
For forgiveness for each of them
I'll stand in the way and I'll plague them with guilt.
If this time, love is conquered by hate
Of each other
Then I'll drown myself in the power of silt,
I'll be the pillar they need
The uniting factor
Because I don't want a wrecked up home
And for that I'll be the benefactor.
I will hurt them if I need to
For them to wake up from their slumber
They say children are immature
But these two people stand at a worse number.
World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones
Or so they say,
World War 3 will be the end of love and marriage
Or so I believe, each passing day.
A lot can change in 4 years,
I hope they understand that
Even if it takes me, myself and I
To change all that.
;;
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