residential terrazzo flooring installation
3 years ago
Sep 16, 2011
To my mind,
I feel as if lately,
We haven't been in touch.
My heart whispers enticing words to me.
Words that I secretly want to hear,
But of course, you would know that.
Seductive whispers. You would oppose.
You would warn me against the temptation of succumbing to it.
But I have fallen into its alluring chasm,
And am unwilling to climb out. You must save me.
Mind,
I am overcome with emotions
That, like rivers nourished by the recent monsoons
Gush through my blood, saturated with love,
And with hate and with fear and with presumptuous pomposity.
Each emotion is the string of a marionette;
I pulls me in one direction, and then tugs me to the next.
Crooning with love. Simmering with anger. Drowning in hate.
You, who like a referee
Was supposed to monitor this change in entropy,
Have suddenly fled. The maps are blank and my GPS fails.
I searched in the bushes, under the bed, behind the curtains for you
Before these emotions could win their tug of war
And drag me to a corner to harass me senselessly.
If you don't return,
I will surely run mad. Maddened by the love I feel
When I imagine those wholesome faces,
Maddened by the stabbing needles of sorrow
That I wish could be a Chinese masseur skilled with acupuncture.
And crazed by the anger
That calls upon my blood to boil as if my organs were cooking.
Mind,
I need you to return.
I need you to scold my senseless heart with your logic,
And to preserve my identity before I lose it
To the separate entity that is attempting to beat itself out of my chest.
Nov 28, 2010
With the viscous pulls on my wings,
Stay rooted firmly, on the ground,
Shaking uncontrollably,
The rebellious streak lying unfound;
Though you know you cannot deny me
The fortunes I deserve,
I remain bound by your lack of diplomacy,
Lost in a reserve.
You ask of me to fly with my wings tied,
Ask of me to smile in venomous bile,
Having robbed me of the need
To want to live in happiness indeed!
The things you do to me
Blind me to the point I cannot see,
You demand of me so much more
When you've taken away my tools and left my heart sore.
And now I long,
With every beat of a song,
To be free
Of your tyranny,
And every sucking pull
Chafes my face like wool
So much so that tears burn
My sore face as my stomach might churn-
For the day when I can fly
With my wings untied
And smile with all my heart
Sans the feeling that part of me just died.
Feb 11, 2010
23) Drown (Part I)
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 6:05 AM
As the winter rains tattoo the windows,
And the skies turn inky black,
Walking on, I know there is no road
That will help take me back.
For I feel so lost in a giant world
Made out of concrete and metal dreams,
Each step I take is made so complicated,
No simplicity remains, it seems.
Where did all the happiness go?
Did it evaporate like these puddles of rain?
For Man makes this life so hard to live,
So borderlined and downright insane.
The largest lakes or the smallest teardrops
Call me name for I, in them, want to drown
To insulate my mind from the grasps of the world
As this insanity continues to pull me down.
Feb 7, 2010
17) I Know Pain Too
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 9:35 PM
Mirrored in a person's eyes,
These lips smile and these eyes twinkle
These tresses flick and ripple
These bubbles of ecstacy show
Just these, these, and nothing more.
Not shown are the purpling bruises
Hidden beneath sweaters and a shirt,
Not shown are the marks of tears
As soap counters their tracks of hurt
Nor the blood from internal pain
Borne by the sounds of metal on flesh
Neither the the sounds of sobs again
That with each moment emerge afresh.
Just that mask,
That hides so much and shows so little,
So that the world does not judge,
And the soul is not be belittled.
Where there is no option, no shelter
The only alternative is the open;
The solace of birds and seas:
Peace do they singly shapen.
No support, no help, no aid,
Asking for the hurt to quickly fade
Just a stoked poker face
Shows and blooms and well is made.
Lies coat this utopian world
That has been built out of nothing but dreams
And what there is to my sharp pain
Nothing, no one can dream to realize
Free to be hurt, controlled and defied
I may dream, sound true, but my words are lies,
Not a single essence of my masked pain is
Mirrored in a person's eyes.
16) Marionettes
0 comments These are the terribly insignificant musings of Aishwarya Nagar at 8:45 PM
Everything I said,
Every view I gave on the world-
That you should never give up,
That the world will turn around
And at some point be
What you want it to be,
Is a lie. It's a world I'd live in
If I wasn't surrounded by sin
If I could decide what my life would be,
If people never stuck to destiny.
The day I was born there was a vow in my blood,
To raise me up as some kind of perfect girl
With the perfect face, perfect mind,
With the most perfect personality one could find.
That day was the day I could never love
Somebody I wanted to when I grew up
'Cause I was raised to wed the perfect guy
With the perfect face, perfect mind.
The world feels like the puppeteer,
And I the hopeless marionette,
The twitch of a string
I'd take command in my wing
Like my future's already set.
Cut the strings, and my soul sings,
The song of freedom everyday
To have you mistaken loons understand
Me isn't possible in any way.
I feel so manipulated, so controlled
Like my future's already set in stone
Where I thought cool water flowed with peace,
There are icy stones and cumbersome debris.
You say that being what this Age allows me to be
Is a terrible curse
And I should live in your past,
But that's even worse.
Let me decide how bad I feel,
For my heart's not yours,
It was never yours.
;;
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