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May 31, 2010

10) Misunderstood

Is rain really rain
If not the personification of pain?
Is the breeze truly breeze,
If not the happiest sneeze?
Is a heart a heart
If it's song is no such art?
Is a soul just a soul
If it has never ever been whole?

In the ways of the world
That you never cared to learn,
To rebuke me
You must know who I am.
Under the leaves of the trees
That you fail to see twice,
To make me,
You must know who I am.

Words, falling, meaninglessly from your mouth
Not as soft as whispers, but louder than a shout,
Endlessly tumbling into a void I don't reach
You forget all the lesson I fight to preach.
Your curses are a veil that hide my tears
Your speculation of my future is patched by so many fears-
If you learn to leave the past and
Walk the golden paths of the present,
Maybe you'll learn who I am.
Maybe you can talk to me for once,
Knowing who I am.
And maybe I can forgive you for your mistakes
But if only you'd understand.

May 30, 2010

9) Renegade

I hear yells in the distance
Past these closed doors
Ringing in the house, the screaming
Reverberating off the floors,
There's no where to hide from it
Will I be able to run for it
When the time comes
Am I strong enough to let them go?

Don't cry my darling,
Everything will be alright-
This is just a seasonal brawl
I'll ask them to cease this fight.
They took the vows
And it's too late to look back,
But she doesn't understand
And he doesn't understand.

Just the two of us
My little milk-and-honey darling,
What will we be without a mother?
Or without a father calling?
The yells in this house are a routine,
The fights behind these walls are too tangible to be seen
Each day afresh, a battle we're caught between
Singes to black the grass we worked far too hard to keep green.

If this time it's too late
For forgiveness for each of them
I'll stand in the way and I'll plague them with guilt.
If this time, love is conquered by hate
Of each other
Then I'll drown myself in the power of silt,
I'll be the pillar they need
The uniting factor
Because I don't want a wrecked up home
And for that I'll be the benefactor.
I will hurt them if I need to
For them to wake up from their slumber
They say children are immature
But these two people stand at a worse number.

World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones
Or so they say,
World War 3 will be the end of love and marriage
Or so I believe, each passing day.
A lot can change in 4 years,
I hope they understand that
Even if it takes me, myself and I
To change all that.

May 24, 2010

Poet's/Author's Note

I am currently writing two books side by side and I would like to offiliate them so a) I can keep writing them and b) they idea doesn't get busted. I have two stories to juggle because I have continual writer's block, and I get inspiration for one or the other on occasion, so I write whichever one is more appealing to me on a particular day.

I have two novels running: a fantasy one and a modern-day one that I like to classify as philosophy.

Realm of Dead is the working title of my fantasy one. Brief summary: The Labyrinth is the Eden of earth - a network of underground tunnels and chambers imbibed with immortality that prevents it's refugees from aging under it's protection. Gwen of the Duchovnys, born under an Eclipse, is daughter of the new king, who, along with ten royal Welsh families, fled to the Labyrinth post the death of the former King. The godliness of the Labyrinth is marred only by the presence of the Dark Angel, a death-like statue in the middle- the Messenger from Hell. Suspicious occurences shroud the presence of the Dark Angel and each passing day, this Eden turns slowly to something darker, threatening to betray the secret of these families, preserved since before the Plantagenets, to the modern world. Gwen and Emrys of the Silas', her best, most intimate friend, find themselves far too entangled in these matters and attempt to handle their reputation, their far-too-intimate friendship and Gwen's suspicious connection to Death while keeping themselves a secret from the modern era.

Stepmom is the working title for my psychological-philosophical realistic book, though it was originally "Far Too Precious". Brief summary: Panacea Suvari, widowed, is a substitute teacher who finds herself attracted to the Jared Sullivan, divorced father of one of her students. When they decide to get married, she finds a maze of problems in her life, like Chastity, his daughter, a suicidal girl who disapproves of the marriage and shows it but self-mutilation. A battle ensues between Panacea and Chastity, where Panacea tries to assist Chastity get over her suicidal tendencies but the closer she gets, the bloodier Chastity becomes. She loves Jared and won't separate, but she wants to save Chastity, and when an atheist Panacea discovers the  peace of a church, she finds a new insight on Saving her stepdaughter. A nouveau tale of rebellion, faith and finding the honesty of one's emotions.

Copyright © Aishwarya Nagar

I'm interested in writing them and finishing them, then contacting a publishing company on publishing them and I HOPE people will like the books. I'll put up a chapter apiece on here if you ask for it really nicely =)

Ash xx

8) Wasting Time..

To dream a dream so near
And yet so delusional,
To move towards it year by year
And feel it an illusion, oh;
Towards the crown you want to run,
But in your eye shines the light of the sun-

The moment's in your grasp
But the feeling's gone, the feeling's gone
The year and years you spent
Have faded away like a song.
And though you know so well
That the opportunity's in your hand
Your mind isn't quite there
And you let it fly away like sand.

It's too late to return
And clock back to when you had the time
Like life grows on charred remains
Oh hope, you lost what was sublime
And now you must realize
That this was the moment for which you've been waiting
I mustn't let it turn to regret in the future
And I know that you'll be hating
When I bid you farewell
When I bid you farewell
It's only or a while
But I still need to run a mile.

May 21, 2010

7) Wanton

Ice on sensually scorching skin,
Whispering the sizzles of love for our sin
Though nobody knows, it feels as if the world stares
At my back and understands that nothing compares.

The curves, contours of heaving
Smooth skin blown warm by my breath
Tattoo my mind as I fall asleep,
Your skin on mine, intensity bound to be bequeath.

Arms caging my torso demandingly
Asking for what I can certainly give;
I succumb to the pull of promiscuity
This is a choice for which I live,

Palms exploring the depressions and mountains
Of landscapes much too small to be the work of God
But are as pious, are as heavenly, given to me,
The circles of beauty, triangulated by a rod-

Escaping into the caves of illusions
Into the warmth and comfort of sheets and skin
Leaving me breathless under my closed eyes and open mouth
Your smile shimmers like electroplated tin.

Cold water douses my heart, stabbing my daydreams;
Still enriched in the sensual coating of warmth and heat
It's all been a dream, I beg you to bring it true,
You already have me bowed over your feet.

In and out of addiction, I wander
These are decisions I'm forced to ponder over
I already want you to take me,
I will happy the day you take me to be
With you.

May 15, 2010

6) June

Sun rays on skin, scalding, scorching,
The heat of north prevails
And the swimming pools are afresh with joy,
Under the sun do the homeless wail-
Heat haze that blurs the lines of vision
That sets ablaze the flesh of arms,
Melting the tar that holds the road
Leaving empty, burning farms-

And the cool winter swells
That lick ice upon the feet of beachgoers
In the south, where the sleet is here
And the lakes are devoid of eager rowers-
Children chastised to bundle up more
And the people wander sipping coffee
Watching ice on the needles of a pine
Melt like it were English toffee.

And an equinox on the equator
The heat one one side, the cold on another
Houses enjoying the pleasant weather
Familier intact- father, mother, brother.
In the north, the summer houses are many and full
Families apart where no interruption can push or pull-
In the south, shelter is needed and people are apart
Children switching from divorced mother to father, more the art;

The heat and the cold at war again-
And happiness borne by equinoxes-
Hovering between extremeties
June-caused externalities
That time of year is here
Where it's either as hot as hell
Or as cold as the world is old.

May 2, 2010

5) Time to Say Goodbye

Smiling more than usual,
I've never seen you prettier before
With happiness in your eyes,
Soul as clear as the summer skies.

Sobbing into your knees
I've never seen you sadder before
With grief an oceanic puddle at your feet,
Salty drops darkening the ground peat.

But the glance of an eye nearby
Makes me crazy,
I remember every look you gave me
And though it's hard to forget the past,
I'd better forget it fast,
Before I become the dead of the day
And the soulless blackness of the night-
I should forget my past,
I should forget you fast,
But the sails that gleam from my mast
Sail to you....

May 1, 2010

4) Thunderclaps, Night Sky

Claps of thunder
Rolling like atolls on the sea
Across the moon-drenched sky,
And I can't help but wonder why....

Dark clouds twist into shapes
Silhouetted black in the light
Omens flashing across the day sky,
And I wonder why...

The rain tattooes the carapace
Which shatters at the paranormal force,
Like a curtain of life and chaos both
Trees cower in sheer remorse,
And I hide in the building,
Not permitted to follow the drops
That hammer over the window
And land in puddles with innocent plops.

If I could come and go like the rain,
If I could hide like the moon, I would,
If I could show the world my dark skies
And prove that be the best I could.
If I could be so sudden yet so discrete,
And like the rolling thunder sweep your feet...
Regret filling me, the sight of the changing sky,
And I ask myself why I do cry.


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